Dream School by Jeffrey Selingo

DREAM SCHOOL by Jeffrey Selingo (Who Gets In and Why) is the latest round in his writings about “Finding the College That's Right for You.” Here, Selingo leverages his decades long experience plus surveys with thousands of parents collected during two years of research; he once again stresses the benefit of looking beyond super selective schools. The book is divided into three main sections which outline often faulty assumptions, the “new admissions landscape,” and what to look for in a dream school. An appendix lists specific colleges (Hidden Values, Breakout Regionals, and Large Leaders), with a brief description and anecdotal standout factor for each. Learning about and choosing between schools is a difficult task, filled with emotion and incomplete information. Called a “refreshingly practical approach to choosing where to apply” by Lisa Damour, resources like Selingo’s offer a helpful perspective to both students and parents. DREAM SCHOOL received a starred review from Publishers Weekly and was the subject of a recent Family Action Network session with Frank Bruni (scroll to bottom of that page for video).

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb

MAYBE YOU SHOULD TALK TO SOMEONE by Lori Gottlieb is a work of non-friction which was recommended by my cousin and which received a starred review from Kirkus who called it “A vivacious portrait of a therapist from both sides of the couch.” The author is a mid-40s single mother who also writes a column for The Atlantic called “Dear Therapist.” She shares anonymous stories from some of her patients as well as her own struggles with a breakup when The Boyfriend decides he does not want to live with her young son. There are many poignant moments as she counsels others (like Julie, the young woman who recieves a devastating cancer diagnosis) and narrates her internal thoughts during her own sessions with a therapist. Did you ever see Shrinking (on Apple TV) with Harrison Ford? This is not as hilarious, but it also takes you into the real lives of a therapist with her own issues and wry sense of humor. MAYBE YOU SHOULD TALK TO SOMEONE deals with feelings, parenting, and other relationships, as Kirkus (again) says: “Saturated with self-awareness and compassion, this is an irresistibly addictive tour of the human condition.” One of my favorite sections mentions “Welcome to Holland” and notes that “Julie started to see that we're all in Holland, because most people don't have lives that go exactly as planned. Even if you're lucky enough to be traveling to Italy, you might experience canceled flights and horrible weather.”

Far and Away by Amy Poeppel

FAR AND AWAY by Amy Poeppel is a very clever, fun read even though the situation seems quite implausible at first… who gets drunk (or almost drunk) and agrees to an international house swap without a pretty thorough vetting? Well, readers should let that go and just enjoy the antics of the many characters in this delightful commentary on family life, motherhood, and marriage as well as the cultural differences between the United States (especially Dallas) and Germany (Berlin). The house swap is agreed between Greta (art curator, wife to an underappreciated German scientist named Otto, and mother to Emmi, about to head off to an internship in New York and then to college) and Lucy, (interior designer, wife to Max, a NASA scientist temporarily incommunicado, and mother to high school senior Jack and 8-year old twins Alice and Zoe). The cast would not be complete, though, without the in-laws, neighbors, and co-workers, all of whom contribute to misunderstandings in this “comedy of errors” where “it means there can be more than one version of the same story.” FAR AND AWAY is a truly heart-warming tale that will have readers looking for more titles by Amy Poeppel. An amusing and charming summer read! 

One note: I am glad that I read the preview as an eBook and could easily translate German phrases (e.g., So schnell wie möglich, bitte or Du machst keinen Sinn) even though the author gives context clues. In a recent interview Poeppel explained her choice of locales: “This was a chance for me to write a little love letter to Dallas and to Berlin… to just express some of the things that I love the most about both places and what I miss the most ...” 

Hazel Says No by Jessica Berger Gross

HAZEL SAYS NO by Jessica Berger Gross is certainly a roller coaster of a read. Set in Riverburg Maine, the novel features a family transplanted from Brooklyn: high school senior Hazel Greenberg Blum; her middle school brother, Wolf, who loves to act; professor and frustrated writer Dad named Gus; and Claire, fashion designer Mom. Settling in over the summer, things seem to be going well, but during the first day of school Hazel is propositioned by the high school principal and that event sets off a cascade of reactions. There’s plenty of hate mail and self-questioning; shunning of both kids; parenting crises and career angst for Gus and Claire… and then (that roller coaster) … media interest, trips to New York, local support, and new friends. The audiobook, excellently narrated by Emma Galvin, captures the shock, the sadness, the anger, the self-doubt, the creativity, the joy, the relief… This debut novel deftly explores societal themes (#MeToo; white privilege, antisemitism, small town insularity) while telling a coming-of-age story – mostly for Hazel, but for her parents and younger brother, too, as they all mature and change. In fact, Berger Gross makes the point rather obviously: “it was Wolf’s big monologue [in Charlotte’s Web] and he remembered, he FELT every word: Whatever will happen, will happen. I may not live as long as I'd like, but I've lived very well. A good life is much more important than just having a long life. So starting now, I'm going to stop worrying about myself. There are more important things than just thinking about yourself all the time.” HAZEL SAYS NO could be triggering; it contains some difficult moments and sensitive content; this title received a starred review from Booklist. 

Hazel's reading list:  “Remembering how good reading made her feel - grounded and alive. She’d read as much as she could before college. Virginia Woolf and bell hooks. Jhumpa Lahiri and Lauren Groff. Celeste Ng and Lorrie Moore, Curtis Sittenfeld and Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie and Elena Ferrante and Sheila Heti and Min Jin Lee and Jennifer Egan and more Zadie Smith.” 

The Family Dynamic by Susan Dominus

                                         Happy Father's Day!

THE FAMILY DYNAMIC by Susan Dominus is subtitled “A Journey into the Mystery of Sibling Success” and was favorably reviewed in The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal  written respectively by Ezekiel and Rahm Emmanuel, high-achieving brothers briefly mentioned in the book. Dominus, a Pulitzer Prize winning journalist and lecturer at Yale, spent years researching a half dozen families whose stories she shares, interspersed with chapters titled Generators, Expectations, Luck and Fate, Finding Nurture, Openness, and Better, Better, Best. As I read about best-selling novelist Lauren Groff and her brother Adam (a successful entrepreneur in the health-care field) and sister Sarah (a world class triathlete and Ironman competitor), I was struck by their family “slogan:” You are so tough!, reminiscent in some ways of the Harbaughs’: Who’s got it better than us?  Dominus describes her own book by writing, “It is safe to say that if this is a book about high achieving families, it is often also about the real costs of having that kind of drive, the sacrifices that having that kind of focus sometimes entails or even the emotional anguish.” And Dominus does more than talk about the supportive role of parents, siblings, and mentors; she also introduces scientists and their research, often providing additional background on their own children. Referencing a “vast body of well-respected research,” Dominus indicates that “parenting effects on children's outcomes … are likely much less dramatic than we have all been led to believe.” THE FAMILY DYNAMIC is a thoughtful work that may require slow, careful reading, but that should spark important conversations on helping children best achieve their potential. The Washington Post reviewer Judith Warner says, “THE FAMILY DYNAMIC will no doubt disappoint readers looking for bullet-pointed parenting-for-success tips. It’s just not that kind of book. It’s better.” 

My Friends by Fredrik Backman

MY FRIENDS by Fredrik Backman (A Man Called Ove and many more) will have readers laughing out loud, but it will also make them incredibly sad. There is so much clever wordplay (read the first paragraph!) that I almost gave up highlighting. Yet, there is also a great deal of death and reflection upon carrying on without our friends: “when the love of our life falls asleep for the last time, because when the soul leaves the body, evidently the last thing it does is tie our shoelaces together. In the weeks following the death we trip over thin air. It's the soul's fault.” With grief as a companion, Backman builds a friendship between Louisa, a creative young woman aging out of the care system, and Ted, a former high school teacher trying to find renewed purpose. They are an unlikely pair who meet because of a painting (a source of solace for Louisa) and the artist (a dear friend of Ted’s) who painted it. Eventually riding together on a cross-country train journey, Ted reaches back twenty-five years to tell Louisa the story of his friendship with the artist, Joar, and Ali, all fourteen-year-old characters in the famous painting. There is quite a bit of physical pain and mental anguish in that story due primarily to the abusive violence exhibited by some of the teens’ relatives. Louisa shares some of her own painful stories of life in foster homes and a lost friend, called Fish. Throughout, Backman places a great deal of emphasis on youthful friendships and the healing power of creativity. He writes, “the ultimate expression of love is nagging, we don't nag anyone the way we nag the people we love. All parents know that, and so do all best friends.” Ted and Louisa banter, bond, get on each other’s nerves, and care for each other as their own friendship develops and the story continues, certain to surprise readers. MY FRIENDS is a LibraryReads Hall of Fame selection for May 2025 and received a starred review from Booklist (“Irrepressible humor, boundless grief, and eternal loyalty coalesce.”) As Ted remarks, “what I hate most isn't that people die. What I hate most is that they're dead. That I'm alive, without them.”  

The Essential Guide to Children's Sleep

THE ESSENTIAL GUIDE TO CHILDREN'S SLEEP by Andrea C. Roth, Shelby F. Harris, and Allison Shale is published by The American Psychological Association and promises “A Tired Caregiver's Workbook for Every Age and Stage.” I especially liked the calm, matter-of-fact tone and the provision of strategies relevant for different ages. These authors are authorities, based on their educational and professional experience (cognitive–behavioral therapists and a clinical psychologist/sleep specialist) and personal experience as parents; they readily acknowledge “the reality of how difficult childhood sleep issues can be.” After beginning with a review of general principles and guidelines, they structure the book so as to “discuss the importance of caregiver teamwork (Chapter 2), provide guidance for age groups from infancy through adolescence (Chapters 3-7), and offer troubleshooting tips (Chapter 8).” Promising to “present our recommendations along with data to support them,” these authors offer general suggestions and helpful commentary, such as “[at 4 to 6 months] they are also possibly waking a bit more often in the night as they cycle in and out of sleep. Again, all of these changes are to be expected.” The workbook format provides useful questions and an opportunity for reflection and planning. THE ESSENTIAL GUIDE TO CHILDREN'S SLEEP is aptly titled and will be a valuable resource for parents across several years. 

Hello, Cruel World! by Melinda Wenner Moyer

HELLO, CRUEL WORLD! by Melinda Wenner Moyer offers “Science-Based Strategies for Raising Terrific Kids in Terrifying Times.” In ten chapters Wenner Moyer, a contributing editor at Scientific American and a regular contributor to The New York Times, looks at Coping, Connecting, and Cultivating, all presented in a conversational, non-judgmental and helpful way. Adam Grant writes, “[Moyer’s] book is packed with evidence-based, nonobvious practical advice for nurturing resilience, kindness, critical thinking, and well-being.” I certainly saw the critical thinking aspect in the entire chapter devoted to Information Literacy which is full of ideas (including discussion prompts), plus some organizations (Thinking is Power, Reboot Foundation, etc.) that I did not know as well as skills (e.g., lateral reading) school librarians have been talking about for years. Other chapters cover self-compassion, resilience, self-control, relaxing, empathy, friendships, curiosity/inclusion, plus financial and information literacy and managing social media. HELLO, CRUEL WORLD! is a text which parents – and educators – should consult and discuss. At the end of each chapter there is a summary of key points, and the author also includes 300+ citations in a separate section. As Wenner Moyer says, much of her writing is about “being intentional about our choices and the kinds of conversations we have with our kids. … I implore you to take the advice that feels like it will be a good fit and leave the rest.”  

Three Minutes for Mom and Growing Together

It is Mothering Sunday in the UK this weekend and our own Mother’s Day (May 11) is fast approaching so I thought I would comment on a couple of newly published books having to do with parenting. THREE MINUTES FOR MOM by Erin Morrison showcases “365 Days of Empowerment, Encouragement, and Growth for a More Connected Motherhood.” Morrison has a background in psychological counseling and is the creator of The Conscious Mom. In this new text she encourages readers to actively “make three minutes of your day centered in strengthening, loving, and supporting you.” The entry for each numbered day offers a short saying (e.g., It’s Ok to Not Know OR Prepared, Not Perfect), a brief explanation which is a paragraph or two in length, and a quick recap (e.g., “when you run into a parenting moment that feels less than perfect, pause and ask yourself which prepared mother quality will help you best in this situation: open mindedness, compassion, or humility?”). Morrison is correct in that it may only take three minutes a day to read and reflect on an entry, but that regular activity may also help parents to pause and redirect their own energy. Whether it is day five (“add a little magic – if you don’t show your child that life can be magical, who will?”), day six (“the ‘why’ behind whining”) or day one hundred and ninety-three (“love and care for yourself”), Morrison’s writing is very supportive.  She provides an opportunity for quiet reflection and practical results.

GROWING TOGETHER by Carson Meyer contains “Doula Wisdom & Holistic Practices for Pregnancy, Birth & Early Motherhood.”  Meyer is a Los Angeles based childbirth educator and photographer who has created this text in order to share material from her online and virtual classes.  She splits the text into four primary sections, one for each trimester of pregnancy and then one for the first 100 days after birth. Her tone is quite conversational and she offers homeopathic remedies and common sense advice to numerous questions (e.g., How long should each feed be? Do I need to switch breasts each feed? Help! My breasts hurt!). Meyer includes weekly activities such as writing “a love letter to yourself” at week three after birth to help with “treating yourself with the same compassion and patience you would [for] your baby.” While new parents might be too overwhelmed to reach for this text, having read earlier sections might cause them to continue to seek out Meyer’s calm advice (“have a code word with your partner so that you can politely send away any visitor who is overstaying their welcome” or her discussion of elimination communication with their baby). Throughout, she provides charts (e.g., innate knowing vs. modern knowing), introspective questions, and frank discussion (e.g., “those first trimester feels” or “tending to the family nervous system”). GROWING TOGETHER contains recipes, endnotes, and a list of additional resources.

The Disengaged Teen by Anderson and Winthrop

THE DISENGAGED TEEN is a newly released work by Jenny Anderson, an award-winning journalist who reports on the science of learning, and Rebecca Winthrop, the director of the Center for Universal Education at the Brookings Institution and an adjunct professor at Georgetown University. Their book is directed to both parents and educators and is subtitled “Helping Kids Learn Better, Feel Better, and Live Better.” We all know that especially since COVID students have had a more difficult time re-acclimating to a school setting and staying motivated and engaged. The authors also observed this situation in their own families and conducted extensive research – both qualitative and quantitative - prior to writing this text. Part I describes the four patterns of behavior they found: Passenger (tending to coast along); Achiever (focusing on grades and other external rewards, perfectionist); Resister (refusing to do participate); and Explorer (following interests and building necessary skills). Anderson and Winthrop caution against applying these labels to individual students, arguing instead that the behaviors are fluid. Part II of the book is an “engagement toolkit” with stories, exercises, and ideas so that adults can help to spark student learning and to make the distance between school and life be seen as less of a “chasm.” The authors point out that “resilient learners are not strong; they are flexible.” Anderson and Winthrop recently contributed a guest essay to The New York Times where they note: “Many recent graduates aren’t able to set targets, take initiative, figure things out and deal with setbacks — because in school and at home they were too rarely afforded any agency.” I also attended a recent one hour Family Action Network session where Charles Duhigg (Supercommunicators) posed some excellent questions while interviewing these authors about THE DISENGAGED TEEN. Due to the emotions involved, this may be a difficult book for parents to digest, but it is likely to be thought-provoking and worthwhile. 

Meet the Dyslexia Club! by Margaret Rooke

MEET THE DYSLEXIA CLUB! by Margaret Rooke (Dyslexia is My SuperPower) features stories from children talking about their feelings and experiences with dyslexia as well as their special talents. Some examples include Jessica who plays football/soccer or Ajay who loves to bake cakes. These stories often touch on relationships at school and learning accommodations; each ends with a thought about how grown-ups can help (e.g., letting us do more of what we like best at school) and what the child does best (e.g., coding and solving puzzles). This would be an inspiring and very comforting book for elementary school students and even their parents and teachers. In addition to the stories, Rooke provides suggestions on where to go for help, and she also has checklists filled with many ideas for ways that grown-ups can help at home or at school. She defines several terms and provides links (many UK-based) to relevant websites (all new readers will enjoy Reading Rockets) and related books, including (for adults) The Dyslexia Advantage. Tim Stringer has provided colorful, cheerful illustrations which add to the charm of this text. MEET THE DYSLEXIA CLUB! Is a small book – only about 80 pages – but it is packed with useful information.

Raising Resilience by Tovah P. Klein

RAISING RESILIENCE by Tovah P. Klein, a psychology professor at Columbia University, is subtitled “How to Help Our Children Thrive in Times of Uncertainty.” With over thirty years of relevant experience, Klein’s has worked often with younger children (she is currently Director of the Center for Toddler Development and the author of How Toddlers Thrive) and it does seem at times that this advice would work better with those ages. Still, there is MUCH helpful insight here and it is presented in an approachable and empathetic manner. Klein divides the text into two main parts, looking at “The Roots of Resilience” and “The Five Pillars of Your Child’s Resilience.” Klein stresses the importance of the parent-child relationship as a kind of resilience incubator and with proactive protection. She includes many practical strategies and a series of “Reflective Questions.” Notes comprise about five percent of the book, but my favorite section is a summary of sorts, titled, “Parenting Reminders for Raising Resilience in Daily Life.” Those basic ideas (e.g., err on the side of kindness, boredom is a gift, routines and mealtimes matter) cover sixteen points which should be a required handout at pediatrician’s offices. RAISING RESILIENCE is praised by other experts in the field, including Lisa Damour (author of Untangled, Under Pressure, and The Emotional Lives of Teenagers), Sian L. Beilock (author of Choke), and Eve Rodsky (author of Fair Play and Find Your Unicorn Space). 

A related text, HELPING YOUR UNMOTIVATED TEEN by Melanie McNally, is subtitled “A Parent’s Guide to Unlock Your Child’s Potential.” McNally, a licensed clinical psychologist and brain coach, focuses on drive, grit, and goal-creating. She is not a parent herself and that seems reflected in her rather naïve belief that parents can readily negotiate (and enforce) screen time limits and then move on to implementing the ideas she presents. She offers some quality suggestions and obviously cares about teen mental health, but I felt that many of the comments here might be more acceptable to an “unmotivated” teen if an objective, impartial party was attempting to prompt dialogue and influence action rather than having a parent do so. As she says, “it's important to first do a ‘vibe check’ on your teen’s mood and attitude. They're going to be much more receptive to your input if they're in a decent mood and generally feeling good about life.” True for all of us! McNally devotes about five percent of the book to a list of helpful references.

10 to 25 by David Yeager

10 TO 25 by David Yeager is subtitled “The Science of Motivating Young People” and is self-described as “A Groundbreaking Approach to Leading the Next Generation—And Making Your Own Life Easier.” I am honestly not sure how “groundbreaking” this text is, although it seems likely to make relationships easier as Yeager stresses the responsibility of involved adults to adjust their own mindset, setting high standards while intentionally becoming more aware of young people’s need for respect. Building on case studies and interviews with successful mentors, 10 TO 25 offers an important perspective and provides numerous helpful suggestions for working with the next generation. Yeager is a professor of psychology at the University of Texas at Austin and has conducted research with Carol Dweck (Mindset), Angela Duckworth (Grit), and Gregory Walton (Ordinary Magic, forthcoming). His dozen chapters deal with taking action related to traits like Transparency, Questioning, and Belonging. The final section, called Putting It into Practice, includes specific “activities and pieces of advice” related to key ideas. Encouraging readers to keep a journal as they work through the exercises, Yeager notes that he uses these interventions in his own work and co-developed them with Rosalind Wiseman (author of Queen Bees and Wannabes). That section is an excellent summary and guide; it is followed by an extensive (roughly twenty percent of the book) series of notes and references. Booklist calls 10 TO 25 a “goldmine…” We have ordered this title and know it will receive much interest, especially at this high energy time of year as schools are opening.

The Ballad of Darcy and Russell by Morgan Matson

THE BALLAD OF DARCY AND RUSSELL by Morgan Matson (The Unexpected Everything) is another well-crafted romantic comedy featuring two soon-to-be college freshman. Matson is adept at developing characters and describing adventures; a personal favorite is her Amy & Roger's Epic Detour. In the latest, Darcy and Russell are stuck in a bus station in Jesse, Nevada, on their way back to LA after having separately attended a music festival. Darcy is almost out of cash and neither has a cell phone charger, so they set out to solve that immediate problem but end up creating more. A near arrest for trespassing turns into a helicopter ride, shared confidences about family situations, an eventful road trip, re-evaluation of college choices, and a physical relationship. That all happens in roughly 24 hours which is a little hard to believe. At times the story seems to drag as Darcy mulls over her choices although other sections are sweet and caring. Angsty teens will find the range of emotions to be quite relatable – School Library Journal recommends this title for grades 9 and up, saying “This look at the realities of what comes after love-at-first-sight is worth a read.” THE BALLAD OF DARCY AND RUSSELL received a starred review from Kirkus (“quippy dialogue, hilarious jokes, and corny but juicy chemistry”).