Whistler by Ann Patchett

It was just announced that Ann Patchett won the Library of Congress Prize for American Fiction, to be officially awarded at the National Book Festival in Washington on Aug. 22. Her latest novel is titled WHISTLER and Booklist (“tale of complicated marriages, secret love, fear, fury, courage, and reconciliation”), Kirkus (“evocative and moving”), and Publishers Weekly (“one of her best”) all gave WHISTLER starred reviews. This book tells the story of Daphne, now 53, meeting her former stepfather, Eddie Triplett (now 76), by chance at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Eddie and Daphne had both wanted to be writers – he edited books for years and years and she teaches literature at a girl’s school. It takes a while for Patchett to explain the background to their surprisingly deep and affectionate relationship that was suddenly severed by Daphne’s mother after Eddie and Daphne were in a serious car accident when she was nine years old. Daphne’s Mom remarried for a third time long ago and Daphne and her sister, Leda (a psychiatrist), have two adult half-brothers. Patchett herself had an “abundance” of fathers (also three) as she wrote several years ago in The New Yorker and her collection of essays, These Precious Days.

Book groups will adore WHISTLER, filled as it is with reflections, “There is so much randomness to youth. The person assigned to share your room becomes your friend, the girl you pass on your way out the door becomes your wife, and from these random encounters our entire lives are built, four beautiful children come into the world, and they, in turn, found the people they were meant to spend their lives with.” 

Or, contemplating death: “‘It's okay,’ her father said. ‘You'll be back later.’ ‘We'll still be here,’ Jeffrey said. ‘You won't believe how fast it goes. Might as well be a minute.’ ‘You'll look after everyone?’ she asked her son. ‘No,’ he said. ‘We'll look after you.’”  And Robert Frost’s Wild Grapes: “And the life I live now’s an extra life / I can waste as I please on whom I please.”

Or, simply Patchett’s wry wit: “We write each other notes, back and forth, back and forth. It's like texting for people with large collections of stationery.” Ann Patchett is the narrator for the audio book version of WHISTLER and she does an excellent job, gently evoking the characters and their complex emotions.

Dad Brain by Darby Saxbe

DAD BRAIN by Darby Saxbe describes “The New Science of Fatherhood and How It Shapes Men's Lives.” Saxbe, a clinical psychologist and professor of psychology at the University of Southern California, splits her book into two sections: the Science of Fatherhood and the Practice of Fatherhood. It’s truly interesting to realize that Saxbe is “one of the only researchers in the world to have collected longitudinal neuroimaging research on men as they become fathers,” due in large part to the limited research on men as parents. Still, she points out how fatherhood can benefit society, partners, children, and the men themselves, thanks especially to greater social connection and opportunities for improved mental health. Frequently showcasing a collection of related facts, Saxbe points, for example, to research that shows younger-looking brains for both fathers and mothers and describes some theories as to why this greater cognitive functioning occurs. She offers suggestions for several areas of additional research, and I look forward to seeing more from her. An Appendix with suggested resources, plus an Index and Notes comprise close to twenty percent of the text. 

Read an excellent overview of Saxbe’s thinking in her recent opinion piece at The New York Times: “Ultimately, the traits of a good dad are also the traits of a good man: strength coupled with a willingness to look out for the young and vulnerable, to teach but also listen, to lead by example, to tackle daunting challenges and to persevere with grit.” Happy Father's Day to all!!

Does My Child Need Me to Lead or to Follow?

DOES MY CHILD NEED ME TO LEAD OR TO FOLLOW? by Claudia Schwarzlmüller is an international best-seller which covers “A Radically Simple Way to Parent Children from Infancy Through Age 6.” Schwarzlmüller is a child psychologist with over twenty years of experience. Her tone is wonderful – calm, compassionate, nonjudgmental, and definitely striving to represent the child’s viewpoint. For example, in the Your Toddler section, she describes behavior which is SO familiar (e.g., a toddler “loves taking things out and putting them away”… and “needs to repeat behaviors many times in order to learn … repetition is the name of the game”). She discusses thinking and playing (when a child “learns about objects by putting them in his mouth, banging them against something else, studying, turning, rubbing, or throwing them”), as well as feelings and relationships, movement, and speech. To me (a relatively new grandmother), the insights Schwarzlmüller offers are spot-on, valuable and actionable (e.g., she lists a series of play schemas and what your child learns from practice like Positioning (a sense of length, height, distance), Transforming, Connecting, Enveloping, Transporting, Dividing/Scattering (geometry/math, quantity, shapes, volume), Sorting, Filling, and Orientation). She writes about allowing your child to lead (“give them the freedom to try things out and as much free time to play as possible”), but also notes, “Children need to find their bearings and to feel safe. You are the missing partner in this social dance if you don't assume your role in moments of leading. Your child is searching for balance between moments of leading and moments of play, just like the rest of us.” Additional parts of the book deal with Your Baby, From Toddler to Preschooler, From Preschooler to Kindergartener to First Grader, plus introductory material, a list of references, and further reading suggestions. Publishers Weekly called this text “a valuable resource for parents of young children [in which] research-based insight meets practical guidance.” I heartily concur and I am highly recommending DOES MY CHILD NEED ME TO LEAD OR TO FOLLOW?

THE MIXED + MULTIRACIAL GUIDE TO WELLBEING by Namalee Bolle is subtitled “Navigating Family, Identity + Healing.” Bolle divides the text into three parts: Unpack, Discover and Thrive. She describes her own history (British born of Sri-Lankan and Dutch-Jewish heritage) and that of other multi-racial people as she encourages readers to reflect on their unique situations. It felt at points as though this text was more about therapy-type exercises and less about actual research findings (of which there may not be many). However, I did gain insights from reading about children who are multiracial – as she says, they are racially different to both parents. That may seem obvious, but it is worth pausing and contemplating that idea along with how difficult it is for all of us to find our identities as adolescents and how these children must learn to recognize/accept that “I am this and this and that.” I plan to look into the children’s books that she recommended (e.g., The Truth about Dragons) and also to watch 1000% Me, an HBO/Max documentary. Overall, an interesting starting point for more discussion and research.

Stakeouts and Strollers by Rob Phillips

STAKEOUTS AND STROLLERS by Rob Phillips is an award-winning debut mystery, with a cute cover that captured my attention. I was expecting something light and cozy and initially felt that this was a little too silly until I started to build affection for the characters and appreciation for what becomes a fairly complicated plot set in the Bay Area. The main character is Charlie Shaw, an ex-journalist, now newbie PI, married to his high school sweetheart and dad to a six-month-old daughter. His inexperience contributes to both hilarity and danger as he shifts from tailing a client’s cheating wife to trying to find the dysfunctional, missing father of sixteen-year-old Friday Finley, a runaway who has just lost her Mom. It seems that the missing Dad is involved (voluntarily or not?) in some shady dealings including gambling, crooked cops, and even murder. Solving this dilemma and supporting the troubled teen requires the involvement of Dwayne Powell, a retired police officer and Shaw’s boss. There will undoubtedly be more in this charming series, as Phillips writes, “This book, above all else, is about fathers and daughters and the space a little girl takes in her daddy's heart.” STAKEOUTS AND STROLLERS received a starred review from Library Journal.

 

Parenting Anxiety by Meredith Elkins

PARENTING ANXIETY by Meredith Elkins is about “Breaking the Cycle of Worry and Raising Resilient Kids.” Elkins, a clinical psychologist, a faculty member at Harvard Medical School and the co-program director at the McLean Anxiety Mastery Program (MAMP) at McLean Hospital, is well-regarded in her field. She draws on her work and education as well as her personal experience as a parent. Elkins appeared recently at a FAN (Family Action Network) session where she was interviewed for an hour by a local school superintendent. There, she repeatedly pointed to the idea that well-intentioned attempts to “protect” children can instead foster an environment where anxiety is allowed to thrive. As in her book, she encouraged parents and educators to approach, rather that avoid, uncomfortableness. Other chapters explore concepts such as Overparenting, Exposure Therapy, and “Finding Your Way.” At the end of each chapter is a helpful set of bullet points “to take home with you.” Over the years, we have commented on numerous books dealing with anxiety, particularly as relates to teens, although Elkins’ work applies to children of all ages. A glossary, list of resources, and notes make up over ten percent of PARENTING ANXIETY and there is also a lengthy appendix which covers “Decoding Diagnoses.”

The Essential Guide to Children's Sleep

THE ESSENTIAL GUIDE TO CHILDREN'S SLEEP by Andrea C. Roth, Shelby F. Harris, and Allison Shale is published by The American Psychological Association and promises “A Tired Caregiver's Workbook for Every Age and Stage.” I especially liked the calm, matter-of-fact tone and the provision of strategies relevant for different ages. These authors are authorities, based on their educational and professional experience (cognitive–behavioral therapists and a clinical psychologist/sleep specialist) and personal experience as parents; they readily acknowledge “the reality of how difficult childhood sleep issues can be.” After beginning with a review of general principles and guidelines, they structure the book so as to “discuss the importance of caregiver teamwork (Chapter 2), provide guidance for age groups from infancy through adolescence (Chapters 3-7), and offer troubleshooting tips (Chapter 8).” Promising to “present our recommendations along with data to support them,” these authors offer general suggestions and helpful commentary, such as “[at 4 to 6 months] they are also possibly waking a bit more often in the night as they cycle in and out of sleep. Again, all of these changes are to be expected.” The workbook format provides useful questions and an opportunity for reflection and planning. THE ESSENTIAL GUIDE TO CHILDREN'S SLEEP is aptly titled and will be a valuable resource for parents across several years. 

Memorial Days by Geraldine Brooks

MEMORIAL DAYS by Geraldine Brooks (Horse) was both difficult and comforting to read. Brooks wrote it after the totally unexpected death of her husband, Tony Horwitz in 2019. She deftly combines the shock of those first days and weeks with a period three years later when she ventured to Australia to reflect on her grief and their long life together. Having just experienced loss, I was astounded by the astuteness of many of her observations:

On being alone: “What big plans we had. How many more adventures there would be for us…” AND “Now I wrestle the wheelie bag over the rough ground by myself. I let sadness come and accept it. This is how it is now. Lonely.”

On family and marriage: “This wobbly trio. It was how we would have to go on. We would have to learn to balance ourselves in an unfamiliar asymmetry. And we would all have to learn to stop setting the table for four.” AND “In 35 years Tony and I had settled into an amicable division of labor within the marriage, taking responsibility for the tasks for which each of us had aptitude.” She wisely recommends, “Jot down all the tasks you don't bother to mention that keep the household afloat, the set of torches that only you have learned to juggle. All the little things your partner didn't expect to need to know, until the day they never expected to happen.”

On how hard it is to find space and time to grieve: “… a cascade of consequences. My credit cards froze, because Tony was the primary card holder. In my gray mist of sadness, I did not want to think about credit cards, but I had to, since our bills were paid that way, and if I didn't immediately get to work on making other arrangements, we mightn’t have lights or phones the following month. I knew I was lucky to have the wherewithal to pay those bills. For so many the death of a spouse is also the death of the breadwinner.” AND “I was used to seeing my desk covered with notes for my fiction, not legal documents, financial spreadsheets, and baskets of condolence notes.” AND “I haven't cried like that for Tony. … I was afraid to give way to it. I knew that if I started, I mightn't be able to stop. So I shut it down. And for the past two years, I haven’t been able to cry at all.” 

On advice from friends: “Do your work. It might not be your best work, but it will be good work, and it will be what saves you.” AND, from a widower friend: “The first time he had ventured out after losing his beloved wife, Gretchen, no one had mentioned her, and he had been hurt and angered. He realized that he needed to speak of her first, to allow others to do so.” 

In conclusion: “I do know this: my job is to carry his light. To keep him vibrantly illuminated for my sons, and for their children -- his grandchildren -- when they get here.”

MEMORIAL DAYS received starred reviews from both Booklist and Publishers Weekly. Related titles to pursue include Year of Magical Thinking by Didion and Crying in H Mart by Zauner. Brooks also mentions The Light of the World by Elizabeth Alxander and A Widow’s Story by Joyce Carol Oates.  

Personally, I want to highly recommend the “Daily Meditations For Working Through Grief” contained in Healing Through Loss by Martha Whitmore Hickman, providing much needed solace to millions since it as originally published in 1994. Some recent non-fiction texts which I have been slowly exploring and hope to review shortly include Can Anyone Tell Me? by Meghan Riordan Jarvis; My Last Gift by Kim Boyer; Renegade Grief by Carla Fernandez; and What Your Body Knows About Happiness by Janice Kaplan.

Brooks alludes to the comfort from music. Here is Coldplay and Dick Van Dyke with All My Love:

Trust Me on This by Lauren Parvizi

TRUST ME ON THIS by Lauren Parvizi is a quick read with likeable characters, two sisters who seem so dissimilar due to different mothers, different life experiences, and different dispositions. Zahra Starling is older, divorced, angry, and abrupt. Aurora (or Aura Star, her professional name) is younger, vulnerable, more naïve, and generally optimistic. Their father, a powerful force in their lives, tells them he is quite ill and asks to see them together. Thus begins a crazy road trip from Los Angeles, through Paso Robles, to Seattle. Along the way, there is plenty of angst with each of their Moms, a budding romance and a horribly broken one, plus reflection by each on her career goals. Of course, it turns out that these sisters need each other even if they cannot see it at first. Zahra “prefers stability to surprises,” finds cooking to be “an equation she could solve,” “a form of active meditation.” Aura is a people pleaser which has created deep conflicts for her. The growth that both experience – largely due to emulating aspects of the other’s personality – pulls in readers who will be rooting for both sisters to overcome trauma and learn to forgive and to trust each other. Parvizi writes with empathy and insight: “you spend so much time wondering when and how your number might be called, but once it happens, the specifics hardly matter …. It was impossible to remember the last time you did the smallest things you took for granted, and it was usually those things you wished you could remember most.” Evoking abundant emotions, TRUST ME ON THIS is a family drama filled with descriptions of wonderful food and scenery (e.g., the cathedral of redwoods).  Enjoy the journey.   

The Teller of Small Fortunes by Julie Leong

THE TELLER OF SMALL FORTUNES by Julie Leong is a cozy fantasy debut that was chosen for the LibraryReads November 2024 list. Its beautiful cover reflects the warmth and good cheer which radiates from this story. Tao, a young girl travelling on her own is the title character. As she moves from village to town, she shares small fortunes with others, afraid to fully exercise her ability to foresee the future because of a past tragedy. It is on the road that she meets Mash, a former soldier looking for his lost daughter; Silt, a reformed thief and friend to Mash; and Kina, an apprentice baker. Together this unlikely group forms a community of sorts and their subsequent – sometimes dangerous – adventures bind them tightly together. This is a wonderful story about friendship and (found) family. Here is a favorite quote: “Aye, our lives are short and shaped by circumstance, and maybe we can't control most of what's to come. But we can control how we feel. We can savor the sweetness of a blackberry scone, and the company of our friends, and the warmth of the summer wind at night, and be grateful for it.”

In its starred review, Library Journal said, THE TELLER OF SMALL FORTUNES “is a delightful cozy fantasy that will appeal to fans of Legends & Lattes by Travis Baldree and A Pirate's Life for Tea by Rebecca Thorne.” Enjoy!! Discussion questions are included.

What Time the Sexton's Spade Doth Rust by Bradley

WHAT TIME THE SEXTON'S SPADE DOTH RUST by Alan Bradley is the newest Flavia de Luce Novel (Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie and many more; for example, The Dead in Their Vaulted Arches). Once again Bradley’s opinionated and daring young detective sets out to solve a murder while proving that her housekeeper, Mrs. Mullet, is innocent. Flavia has been described as a combination between Eloise and Sherlock Holmes; she certainly loves her chemistry experiments and clever wordplay. Her internal dialogues are such fun; for examples “I know how suspicious minds work because that's how my mind works. It is not always easy being blessed with a superior brain.” Or, more seriously, “For the first time in ages, I wanted to cry. I wanted to have a good old-fashioned wail: a healthy old heartbreaking howl. But why bother when there was no one here to hear it?” As Flavia ages and her sisters develop their own lives, it appears that her younger (and often annoying) cousin, Undine, may take a larger role in investigating and in perpetuating the sometimes naïve innocence and lucky thinking needed to beat the local inspector to the true perpetuators. Dogger, loyal servant and dear friend to Flavia, is indispensable, too, in helping unravel motives in the death of Major Greyleigh, formerly a public hangman. This series offers readers a charming and humorous scramble of mystery and introspection. A LibraryReads September 2024 Hall of Fame selection, WHAT TIME THE SEXTON'S SPADE DOTH RUST received a starred review from Booklist (“an endlessly entertaining amateur young sleuth who has much to teach her elders”). 

Everything We Never Had by Randy Ribay

EVERYTHING WE NEVER HAD by Randy Ribay (Patron Saints of Nothing, a National Book Award finalist) is told in multiple perspectives across four generations of a Filipino-American family. The earliest action takes place in 1930 Watsonville, California where Francisco, a recent immigrant, has to deal with violence, prejudice, and his disappointment at life in America. In 1965 Stockton, California, readers meet Emil, Francisco’s son, a dutiful student and hard-working employee at his aunt’s restaurant. He resents his labor organizer father and vows to make his own way. Then there is 1983 Denver, Colorado where Chris yearns to play football but can’t ever live up to the standards of his demanding father, Emil. Chris rebels as he discovers a love of history and pursues his own interests as a teacher. His son, named Enrique Lorenzo and called Enzo, grows up in 2020 Philadelphia, coping with anxiety, the pandemic, and continuing discrimination. Once again, Ribay offers so much to unpack – immigrant feelings, generational conflict, parenting styles, and plenty of anger. Students will relate to the stories of each of these characters as a young man and may be intrigued by the way the societal environment and the individual choices of each character impacts the next generation. The novel does flip back and forth between time periods and this may be difficult for some students, but EVERYTHING WE NEVER HAD received multiple starred reviews, including from Booklist, Kirkus (“many heartwarming and heartbreaking moments offer deep insights into intergenerational patterns”), Publishers Weekly, and School Library Journal. The book contains a list of recommended resources, both print and online like Asian Mental Health Collective, Filipino American National Historical Society, Stop AAPI Hate, and United Farm Workers. Interested previewers can listen to an excerpt on the publisher’s website.

Hang the Moon by Jeannette Walls

A work of historical fiction set in the 1920s Prohibition-era, HANG THE MOON by Jeannette Walls (The Glass Castle) is an extremely well-written and emotionally impactful story about a feisty, young girl named Sallie Kincaid whose father, Duke, runs the local county in Virginia. He’s wealthy and his businesses include a bootlegging operation in which Sallie, a natural born daredevil, becomes an important player. There is much intergenerational squabbling, strong character development, and quick-moving action as Sallie is confronted with one moral dilemma after another. Featuring secrets, scandals, and family feuds, HANG THE MOON received starred reviews from Booklist, Kirkus, and Publishers Weekly, plus it was a LibraryReads selection for March 2023. Highly recommended.

Signal Fires by Dani Shapiro

SIGNAL FIRES by Dani Shapiro is an absolutely beautiful book full of reflection about families and the meaning of life. Shaprio, a best-selling author of several other novels and memoirs, shares the story of the Wilf family: father and doctor Ben, wife and mother Mimi, and children Sarah and Theo. They live in Avalon, a suburban town in New York State and are neighbors to the Shenkmans: the husband has no first name and struggles with anger issues; Alice, the wife, is lonely, but strong. Their son, Waldo, is as unique as his name, interested in the stars, infinity, and, ultimately, astrophysics. The lives of these characters are intertwined (“maybe all of them are simply a chorus of souls, light touching light”) over five decades from 1970 to the present although the story is told in a non-linear fashion beginning with a fatal car crash in 1985. Despite the impact of death, guilt, and secrets, the novel is surprisingly comforting: “The wheeling stars. The ancient shapes. They made him feel cozy and safe, as if he were under a vast blanket.” SIGNAL FIRES received a starred review from Booklist (“Like creating an intricate origami puzzle”). Highly recommended.