Raising Resilience by Tovah P. Klein

RAISING RESILIENCE by Tovah P. Klein, a psychology professor at Columbia University, is subtitled “How to Help Our Children Thrive in Times of Uncertainty.” With over thirty years of relevant experience, Klein’s has worked often with younger children (she is currently Director of the Center for Toddler Development and the author of How Toddlers Thrive) and it does seem at times that this advice would work better with those ages. Still, there is MUCH helpful insight here and it is presented in an approachable and empathetic manner. Klein divides the text into two main parts, looking at “The Roots of Resilience” and “The Five Pillars of Your Child’s Resilience.” Klein stresses the importance of the parent-child relationship as a kind of resilience incubator and with proactive protection. She includes many practical strategies and a series of “Reflective Questions.” Notes comprise about five percent of the book, but my favorite section is a summary of sorts, titled, “Parenting Reminders for Raising Resilience in Daily Life.” Those basic ideas (e.g., err on the side of kindness, boredom is a gift, routines and mealtimes matter) cover sixteen points which should be a required handout at pediatrician’s offices. RAISING RESILIENCE is praised by other experts in the field, including Lisa Damour (author of Untangled, Under Pressure, and The Emotional Lives of Teenagers), Sian L. Beilock (author of Choke), and Eve Rodsky (author of Fair Play and Find Your Unicorn Space). 

A related text, HELPING YOUR UNMOTIVATED TEEN by Melanie McNally, is subtitled “A Parent’s Guide to Unlock Your Child’s Potential.” McNally, a licensed clinical psychologist and brain coach, focuses on drive, grit, and goal-creating. She is not a parent herself and that seems reflected in her rather naïve belief that parents can readily negotiate (and enforce) screen time limits and then move on to implementing the ideas she presents. She offers some quality suggestions and obviously cares about teen mental health, but I felt that many of the comments here might be more acceptable to an “unmotivated” teen if an objective, impartial party was attempting to prompt dialogue and influence action rather than having a parent do so. As she says, “it's important to first do a ‘vibe check’ on your teen’s mood and attitude. They're going to be much more receptive to your input if they're in a decent mood and generally feeling good about life.” True for all of us! McNally devotes about five percent of the book to a list of helpful references.

Erasing the Finish Line by Ana Homayoun

ERASING THE FINISH LINE by Ana Homayoun is subtitled “The New Blueprint for Success Beyond Grades and College Admission.” The only dispute I have with that is: is this really “new”? Homayoun points out the importance of developing a system, connections, perspective, and acceptance. She rightly stresses the importance and impact of executive functioning skills like organization, planning, and prioritizing, plus self-motivation (starting and completing tasks, meeting deadlines), adaptable thinking, and feeling comfortable with asking for help. These are all key life skills which we practice in high school again and again, particularly on a big, individual project like Junior Theme. Each chapter begins with an anecdote introducing a former student, like Nira, excited to be admitted to Notre Dame, who says, “the hardest part of college was learning to manage time and keep track of what I was responsible for and holding myself accountable when ... there was no one there to wake me up in the morning.” Good advice from a peer of sorts, and at one point Homayoun also includes several strategies to “help children [emphasis added; why choose that term?] develop multiple circles of connection.” Overall, however, her work is very text heavy and could benefit from more bullet points, checklists, and even sample exercises to further support the students she seeks to help. It seems likely that Homayoun has resisted this more directed guidance because she specifically says, “rather than doggedly pursuing the never-ending list of “must dos” and “should dos,” it's time for us to accept that there is not one “perfect” way to find success.” Yes, hard to argue with that; we have had Homayoun’s earlier work (That Crumpled Paper Was Due Last Week) in our collection and will likely be adding ERASING THE FINISH LINE, also. Approximately ten percent of the book is devoted to references and notes which will interest researchers and those curious readers wishing to learn more. Also worth considering: 6 Super Skills for Executive Functioning by Lara Honos-Webb.