Four Mothers by Abigail Leonard

FOUR MOTHERS by Abigail Leonard is subtitled “An Intimate Journey through the First Year of Parenthood in Four Countries.” And Leonard, an award-winning journalist, contrasts giving birth and raising a young child in Japan, Kenya, Finland, and the United States. Leonard cleverly shares events and policies, often providing important political background for each country. The personal stories, particularly conflicts with parents and partners, are compelling, although I did question how representative they were (especially the polyamory relationship in the US). Taken together, they point to the advantages for children in a nuclear family with two involved parents (and maybe other relatives as well), showing the impact of societal expectations and gender roles. This research should give other scholars and policy makers much to consider in terms of paid maternity and paternity leave, daycare availability and cost, other incentives (tax, etc.) for families, and both physical and mental healthcare. In its starred review for FOUR MOTHERS Publishers Weekly says, “This is an enthralling and kaleidoscopic view of modern motherhood.” Here is a recent interview with Abigail Leonard from PBS NewsHour:

Three Minutes for Mom and Growing Together

It is Mothering Sunday in the UK this weekend and our own Mother’s Day (May 11) is fast approaching so I thought I would comment on a couple of newly published books having to do with parenting. THREE MINUTES FOR MOM by Erin Morrison showcases “365 Days of Empowerment, Encouragement, and Growth for a More Connected Motherhood.” Morrison has a background in psychological counseling and is the creator of The Conscious Mom. In this new text she encourages readers to actively “make three minutes of your day centered in strengthening, loving, and supporting you.” The entry for each numbered day offers a short saying (e.g., It’s Ok to Not Know OR Prepared, Not Perfect), a brief explanation which is a paragraph or two in length, and a quick recap (e.g., “when you run into a parenting moment that feels less than perfect, pause and ask yourself which prepared mother quality will help you best in this situation: open mindedness, compassion, or humility?”). Morrison is correct in that it may only take three minutes a day to read and reflect on an entry, but that regular activity may also help parents to pause and redirect their own energy. Whether it is day five (“add a little magic – if you don’t show your child that life can be magical, who will?”), day six (“the ‘why’ behind whining”) or day one hundred and ninety-three (“love and care for yourself”), Morrison’s writing is very supportive.  She provides an opportunity for quiet reflection and practical results.

GROWING TOGETHER by Carson Meyer contains “Doula Wisdom & Holistic Practices for Pregnancy, Birth & Early Motherhood.”  Meyer is a Los Angeles based childbirth educator and photographer who has created this text in order to share material from her online and virtual classes.  She splits the text into four primary sections, one for each trimester of pregnancy and then one for the first 100 days after birth. Her tone is quite conversational and she offers homeopathic remedies and common sense advice to numerous questions (e.g., How long should each feed be? Do I need to switch breasts each feed? Help! My breasts hurt!). Meyer includes weekly activities such as writing “a love letter to yourself” at week three after birth to help with “treating yourself with the same compassion and patience you would [for] your baby.” While new parents might be too overwhelmed to reach for this text, having read earlier sections might cause them to continue to seek out Meyer’s calm advice (“have a code word with your partner so that you can politely send away any visitor who is overstaying their welcome” or her discussion of elimination communication with their baby). Throughout, she provides charts (e.g., innate knowing vs. modern knowing), introspective questions, and frank discussion (e.g., “those first trimester feels” or “tending to the family nervous system”). GROWING TOGETHER contains recipes, endnotes, and a list of additional resources.

Sleep Drink Breathe by Michael Breus

SLEEP DRINK BREATHE by Michael Breus is subtitled “Simple Daily Habits for Profound Long-Term Health” and focuses on the basics. Breus is a double-boarded clinical psychologist and clinical sleep specialist who stresses that “doing something adequately, or at the bare minimum, is not the same as doing it well and getting more out of your effort.” He begins with a discussion of what he calls the first domino and his primary area of expertise, sleep. In that and subsequent sections he provides simple facts, offers assessment tools (e.g., sleep diary), reviews troubleshooting options (e.g., maintain a consistent sleep schedule), and provides scientifically based best practices. Breus frequently summarizes helpful Takeaways and then outlines a three-week Sleep-Drink-Breathe Plan. That plan involves five “check-ins” with accompanying activities throughout the day and commitment might be higher if readers encourage a friend to join them.  Although some chapters of SLEEP DRINK BREATHE are stronger than others, the tone throughout is conversational and generally uplifting. As readers review this text, they may also be interested in a recent New York Times article (quoting Breus and other experts) about relatively easy health tips.

The Memory Library by Kate Storey

THE MEMORY LIBRARY by Kate Storey is meant to be a feel good book about a mother, Sally, and daughter, Ella. Sally lives in Greenwich, London and her estranged daughter has lived for over 20 years in Australia. Ella, modeling on her father, is very work-focused and relies on husband Charlie to care for their house and 8-year-old daughter, Willow. When Sally has a fall and needs care, Ella reluctantly heads back to England where over the course of six weeks she learns to more fully appreciate her mother and the values of the people (neighbors, local shopkeepers, library patrons) who care for Sally. I listened to the audiobook which is narrated by Jilly Bond and Imogen Wilde.  I found their voices to be quite soothing and able to vividly evoke Sally’s neighborhood environment as well as the emotions in the conversations with Ella. THE MEMORY LIBRARY seems to have garnered very positive reader response so I think there is a wide audience, especially amongst bibliophiles, but I found it dragged a bit and Ella was not at all a sympathetic character. She was extremely self-centered: “…she didn't like talking. If she was queen of the world, all personal problems would be resolved by leaving them alone and getting on with things. All talking did was allow other people to tell you what they thought you were doing wrong.” Although Ella clearly matured over the course of the story, it was difficult at times to think that she would have changed so dramatically in the relatively short time that she cared for Sally. As a former teacher, Sally modeled life lessons like “check your privilege and remember that who you are is more important than what you have.” It was fun to reflect on the many books referenced throughout the story (e.g., The Alchemist, Persuasion, We All Want Impossible Things, The Life of Pi) and gratifying to see that Ella ultimately realizes that “It was only when she discovered the books and the way Sally had continued her tradition [of gifting one with an inscription to Ella each year] that she'd fully appreciated how loved she was. Through rebuilding the library Ella had learned so much about her mother but also about herself.” 

New books: Social Security, Medicare, and Retirement

SOCIAL SECURITY 101 by Michele Cagan and Alfred Mill is the second edition of this self-proclaimed “Essential Primer on Government Retirement Aid.” Cagan is a CPA who writes often about finance investing and accounting and Mill has crafted several texts on finance and economics in this 101 series. They begin with some historical background and basics (e.g., getting a social security card; defining full retirement age). The next section looks at benefits – for individuals, children with disabilities, spouses and so forth. Later, timing of benefits is discussed as well as related issues about Medicare and retirement planning. Cagan and Mill offer numerous examples with specific amounts to help illustrate their points. This relatively short (240 pages) text provides an accessible overview and may serve as helpful prep before heading off to the Social Security office to review your own circumstances, an action highly recommended by the accountants, lawyers, and other advisors with whom I have consulted on this subject. Good luck getting an appointment, though; at latest check the wait was over 6 weeks.

GET WHAT'S YOURS FOR MEDICARE by Philip Moeller is subtitled “Maximize Your Coverage, Minimize Your Costs.” And although this is a revised and updated edition, it would still be difficult to cover this complex topic adequately in an up-to-date manner in a book. Better to consider this text as a very useful guide and to then turn to advisors who work regularly in this area. Granted, those individuals will tend to push people towards Advantage plans, but they can more thoroughly investigate individual situations and changing offerings. Also, get an idea yourself by using some of the online tools (e.g., comparing plans) available through Medicare.gov. Still, “boots on the ground” are quite helpful, be it friends and peers conducting their own investigations or nursing homes helping to publicize innovative, helpful plans for their residents. Moeller is a recognized authority in this area and has collaborated in the past with PBS NewsHour economics correspondent Paul Solman. 

Moeller recently was interviewed on Morningstar's Long View, a podcast co-hosed by Christine Benz who in turn has written a recent book titled How to Retire: 20 Lessons for a Happy, Successful, and Wealthy Retirement. She has a companion How to Retire podcast on morningstar.

Take Care of Them Like My Own by Ala Stanford

TAKE CARE OF THEM LIKE MY OWN by Ala Stanford, pediatric surgeon and founder of the Black Doctors Consortium, deserves a wide readership. It is a fascinating tale, although there could be some triggering due to the discussions of child abuse. Stanford embraces her life story (subtitled “Faith, Fortitude, and a Surgeon's Fight for Health Justice”) and relates it in great detail. Clearly, Stanford confronted prejudice and discrimination throughout her pioneering and remarkable career. She comments on biases in the medical system, including a lack of “generational knowledge, kind of like generational wealth” and relates numerous shocking (to me) instances such as when a supervisor torpedoes Stanford’s chances at a future placement by outright lying about her. She is an accomplished, inspirational fighter, and I hope that many readers locate TAKE CARE OF THEM LIKE MY OWN. It is well-written and an engrossing read. Book Groups could consider promoting it with the newly published Lovely One by Ketanji Brown Jackson.

A Culture of Promise by Fee Stubblefield

A CULTURE OF PROMISE by Fee Stubblefield is subtitled “The True Story of a Small Company's Quest to Transform the Senior Living Industry.” Stubblefield, who has been involved in developing and managing senior living for close to two decades, repeatedly cites his Grandmother’s request to not be “put” in an old folks’ home as a motivating force. He notes that the wish (fairly common amongst a certain generation) is negative, fear-based and discriminatory. I liked that he provided some rationale for this concern by pointing to the history of senior living: the first, spanning roughly the 1960s to the early 1990s, is referred to as the Skilled Nursing Home period when the major emphasis was on safety. A second period focused on the “assisted living” concept and lasted roughly through the major disruption of COVID. Change is again necessary according to the author and the pandemic has provided an opportunity to further transform the industry. Describing his investment relationship with Harrison Street Real Estate, he writes at length about the concept of “limiters” and says, “my company was limited by the lack of understanding of the challenges our customers were going through, which created a lack of understanding as to how to meet their needs.” So true, especially his emphasis on the value of communication, and a key takeaway that “the employee experience defines the resident experience.” He offers charts that look at three dimensions labeled the customer, employees, and investors; then, he looks at three decision nodes: to move/join; to stay; and to thrive. Although Stubblefield references Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, it could be fascinating to look even more deeply into applying psychological concepts to his arguments. Stubblefield promotes “high-quality care, support, and love designed for every budget” and I would be curious to learn more about how well the twenty or so properties he operates across at least three states achieve that lofty goal. Even he comments on the “cultural misunderstandings between capital and operations.” A CULTURE OF PROMISE is written with an inspirational tone and will hopefully prompt some discussion and even soul-searching in an industry that tends to be very opaque and fragmented (most regulation is by the states). I have recommended this title to the administrators I know in the field. They may also be interested in relevant websites Stubblefield mentions like the National Investment Center or other trade associations. I am curious to see what else (like Here be Dragons about urgent care clinics) Forbes Books is publishing concerning changes in the healthcare arena.