Eldercare 101 and The Gift of Aging

ELDERCARE 101 by Mary Jo Saavedra is an updated version of “A Practical Guide to Later Life Planning, Care, and Wellbeing.” In her introduction Saavedra compassionately points out that “while many of the twists and turns of eldercare are similar across America, each caregiving situation is unique” and that one’s own personal life situation and commitments “can be undermined by the unpredictable demands of elder caregiving, the time-consuming research it requires, and the crisis that is a constant companion.” A lifecare coach and counselor, Saavedra has compiled essays related to her Six Pillars of Aging Well-being. She begins by focusing on Legal issues, as described by a lawyer, then moves to the Living Environment itself. One sub-section there offers roughly 30 pages on various options (Adult Foster Care Homes, Continuing Care Retirement Communities, Assisted Living Facilities, and Memory Care) which are laid out in a straightforward manner. Other pillars include Spiritual, Social (looks at connecting and belonging), Medical (with a sub-section on the aging brain) and Financial. This text is full of details and helpful suggestions. ELDERCARE 101 also contains a glossary, notes, bibliography, and index, and brief biographies of chapter authors. See also Successfully Navigating Your Parents’ Senior Years and When your Aging Parent Needs Help. 

From Cambridge University Press, THE GIFT OF AGING by Marcy Cottrell Houle (a scientist and award-winning author) and Elizabeth Eckstrom (Chief of Geriatrics in the Division of General Internal Medicine & Geriatrics at Oregon Health & Science University) is subtitled “Growing Older with Purpose, Planning, and Positivity.” Referring to “the third act of our lives,” the text begins with a  Foreword by Bill McKibben and then offers multiple chapters split into four areas: Caring for Your Mind, for Your Body, for Yourself & Family (practical issues) and for Your Soul. Each offers a blend of scientific facts with inspirational stories. For example, they cite updated work by the American Geriatrics Society on the Beers List Criteria and “Ten Medications Older Adults Should Avoid or Use With Caution.” Other comments stress that “the top ten habits, including exercise, healthy diet, cognitive stimulation, creative engagement, and healthy sleep, all help prevent cognitive decline.” THE GIFT OF AGING is a generally cheerful book with numerous suggestions like wearing sturdy shoes even inside (slippers have their name for a reason) to avoid falls. Several Mediterranean Diet recipes and an Index are included, too. Other recent books on positive aging experiences include: The Wisdom of Morrie, and Wake Up With Purpose!

Lady Tan's Circle of Women by Lisa See

LADY TAN'S CIRCLE OF WOMEN by Lisa See (Snow Flower and the Secret Fan, The Tea Girl of Hummingbird Lane) is a LibraryReads Hall of Fame selection for June. This novel takes place during the Ming dynasty, in the late 1400s and early 1500s in Wuxi, China. The main character, Tan Yunxian, grows from her milk days as a little girl through her hair-pinning days as a young woman to the rice-and-salt days as a wife and mother and finally to sitting quietly days, the mature years. She shares a deep friendship with a young midwife, Meiling, and they experience some heart rendering events together. Tan Yunxian learns to be a female doctor through her own grandmother and ancestral heritage. Although she is often stifled by societal expectations (some of which, like foot binding, are difficult to read), Tan Yunxian persists, combats smallpox, and even treats others at the royal court. The women who influenced and cared for her, including her mother, called Respectful Lady, her father’s concubine, named Miss Zhao, her maid, Poppy, and even her combative mother-in-law, Lady Kuo, all have a lasting impact on her life. It seems like I am often amazed at how historical fiction novels not only provide vivid details about a time period (and Lisa See is excellent at this), they also frequently illuminate little known heroines. In a recent email, the publisher suggested that readers who wish to learn more about See’s writing process and inspiration, check out this Q&A. There, I learned that Tan Yunxian was a real person who actually did document her cases and that the information, in annotated form, is still available over 500 years later. Interested readers can register to join a discussion with Lisa See on June 27 at noon, Central time or visit her website for further details about LADY TAN'S CIRCLE OF WOMEN. In the meantime, start reading this surprisingly absorbing story.

The Wisdom of Morrie and Life Worth Living

I requested a preview copy of THE WISDOM OF MORRIE (edited by Rob Schwartz) after seeing an interview on PBS NewsHour:

Rob Schwartz is the son of the professor who was profiled in Mitch Albom’s bestseller Tuesdays with Morrie. In this latest text, Morrie’s thoughts on “Living and Aging Creatively and Joyfully” are complied, hoping to contribute to Morrie’s wish of “help[ing] people maintain an active and vibrant life.”  Writing in Morrie's voice Schwartz states “trying to become the best person we can be, aging well, and coming to terms with our issues might be the most important and meaningful goals to strive for in later life.” He further notes that “this book is for everyone, though it may especially speak to people over sixty-five and retired.” The reader is able to share Morrie’s thoughts and fears about aging and he provides numerous inspirational stories like the one about the man who graduated high school at age 81. Overall, the conversational tone is very welcoming and reassuring. I especially loved his comments on solitude: “solitude lets us be in a calm, peaceful, quiet environment, doing work we wish to do, thinking through issues we are concerned about, appreciating nature or art, engaging in a spiritual practice. It provides the opportunity to relax and be ourselves out of other people's control, scrutiny, and judgment. …. solitude permits us to connect deeply with ourselves and our universe.”

Looking for more ideas about re-evaluating your priorities and reflecting on a sense of meaning in life? See LIFE WORTH LIVING by Miroslav Volf, Matthew Croasmun and Ryan McAnnally-Linz. It’s “A Guide to What Matters Most” and is based on a class in Yale College’s Humanities Program. Basically, it is an exercise in thinking about how you would like to be remembered. These humanities professors look at theology and philosophy and quote numerous scholars and religious practices. They recommend reading the text in order, writing down your thoughts, and discussing with others. LIFE WORTH LIVING seems geared primarily to the twenty somethings who have the privilege of taking this class. However, it received a starred review from Booklist (“must-read for any age”) and praise (“a collection of wisdom”) from author Kelly Corrigan.

Write for Life by Julia Cameron

WRITE FOR LIFE by Julia Cameron is a 6-Week Artist's Way Program with “Creative Tools for Every Writer.” And Cameron does offer a variety of practical, easy to use tools. The first that she discusses at length is Morning Pages, writing three pages (eight and a half by eleven inches) in longhand (!) before starting the rest of the day. Referring to this as a kind of meditation, Cameron relays her own experiences and those of many other writers. I appreciated her reliance on a spiritual connection and her willingness to be vulnerable and to express concern for her readers. It feels as though she wants to spark success and each of the main six chapters ends with a summary including a short list of tasks and a series of check-in questions. There is very little judgment – in fact, she anticipates that readers will inflict that upon themselves and devotes one section to “Resist your Resistance.” This is a valuable, pragmatic guide and Cameron is extremely knowledgeable; she has published more than forty books and written every day for more than half a century.

The Stranger in the Lifeboat by Mitch Albom

THE STRANGER IN THE LIFEBOAT by Mitch Albom (Tuesdays with Morrie and The Five People You Meet in Heaven) is another reflection on the meaning of life and redemption.  Albom utilizes the adventures of several survivors of a yacht’s explosion to explore ideas of loss, faith, and purpose. Throughout, Albom offers his characteristic short maxims like “God starts things … Man stops them” or by having the stranger character (who identifies himself as the Lord) tell a survivor that He answers all prayers, “but sometimes the answer is no.” Or “Use this grace to spread my spirit. … Find someone else in despair and help them.” Much of the inspirational story is told through diary entries interspersed with news reports related to the tragedy. The ending feels a bit abrupt and THE STRANGER IN THE LIFEBOAT received some mixed reviews, but the spiritual questions it raises and the mystery of what happened to the boat and whether anyone will survive carries readers through.