SUPERCOMMUNICATORS by Charles
Duhigg (The Power of Habit and Smarter, Faster,
Better); describes “How
to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection.” Duhigg, a Pulitzer Prize–winning investigative journalist and author,
writes that this book “is an attempt to explain why communication goes awry and
what we can do to make it better. At its core are a handful of key ideas.” He
continues by describing three kinds of conversations (practical or
decision-making; emotional; and social) which he says primarily addresses one
of three broad questions: What’s this really about? How do we feel? Who are we?
Duhigg stresses that we need be more skilled at determining which type of
conversation is occurring and then also in applying the different skills needed
for each. I found myself thinking about this recently when talking to a friend
and was able to ask a version of “Do you want me to help you solve this
problem, or just listen?” After several years of studying the topic, Duhigg believes
that anyone can become a super communicator and can have more meaningful
discussions or “learning conversations.” First step: ask yourself “Why am I
opening my mouth?” He acknowledges that this is very difficult and employs
real-life examples to illustrate several rules in a well-organized series of
guides. To gain a better overview, see an essay by Duhigg that outlines
his thinking, particularly about listening, sharing, and connecting (recently
published in The Wall Street Journal). SUPERCOMMUNICATORS received a starred review from Publishers Weekly. Much advice worthy of reflection, perhaps in
conjunction with David Brooks’ How to Know a Person.
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