But What Will People Say? by Sahaj Kaur Kohli

In BUT WHAT WILL PEOPLE SAY? Sahaj Kaur Kohli, founder of Brown Girl Therapy, shares her own journey as a child of immigrants, a college student, a victim of sexual assault, and a therapist. This is a very powerful text which explores “Navigating Mental Health, Identity, Love, and Family Between Cultures.” In a dozen chapters, Kohli writes movingly about topics like “When Things Don't Go According to Plan” (or Reflecting on your achievement behavior); “Where Do My Parents End and I Begin?” (or Learning about boundaries and your values); and “Getting Out of My Own Way” (or Combating self-sabotaging behaviors and mindsets). She points out that “one in three freshman college students (worldwide!) struggles with mental health issues… my struggles were due to a combination of what I call the three E's -- the need for external permission, emotional immaturity, and an expectation of exceptionalism.” By combining her own experiences and therapy training, she offers prompts and insights to both students and parents (e.g., “I wish they would have asked: What can we do to help you? What do you need from us? I wish they would have approached this with: We don't understand, but we're willing to try.”).  An extremely useful guide, especially for older teens, their parents, and mentors.